I don’t think of myself as your typical bride-to-be. We’ve been engaged for two weeks and endless amounts of people have been asking me where the wedding will be, what theme I’m going with, what color the bridesmaids dresses will be? UM..I have no idea.
But I could tell you exactly what type of hardwood floor and kitchen countertop I’d like in my future home, how I’m going to decorate my office and that there will be a kick-ass gym in the garage.
So the other day I was looking at a bridal checklist organized by months up until the wedding (that we still don’t have a confirmed date for) and one caught my eye:
“Find the perfect dress.”
Oh hell. Can’t I just wear some Converse and Lululemon leggings? I kid, of course. I’m sure dress shopping will be fun, it’s just not something I’ve been dreaming of since I was a little girl. Then this thought popped into my head:
“I have to get into shape before I start trying on dresses.”
WHAT? Did I really just think that? First of all, what does “getting into shape” even mean? If I really had to define goals for myself at the very moment, it’d probably be putting on some muscle; I’ve had low energy since my celiac diagnosis and my workouts have been lacking.
So basically I need to start lifting some heavy shit. But for a dress fitting….NO. To me, this frame of mind is just not ok. Perhaps the thought popped into my head because it’s so common to hear women say they need to lose weight, get toned or whatever it may be for their wedding day.
First off, how about we love ourselves as we currently are and if we do want to make a change, we do so for ourselves. So that beyond the hectic wedding planning days and the short five hours of the reception, we continue to go to the gym and eat well.
Living a continuous healthy lifestyle vs. getting fit for a special event.
It’s drilled into our heads. We set goals so that we look a certain way for something, rather than for ourselves. I know so many brides who come back from their honeymoon feeling like crap and having gained a minimum of a few pounds. Why? Because we practically starve ourselves during the months leading up to the wedding and once that last photo is taken we’re eating and drinking everything in sight so we no longer feel deprived.
So how can we overcome this frame of mind?
1. Know that you are good enough, right now. Your fiancé did get down on one knee and ask you to spend the rest of your life him, and I doubt he said “Will you marry me, once you’re in better shape.” You are enough, just the way you are.
2. If you want to change your body, do it for you. Not for the dress, photos or because you want to look better than your fiancé’s ex who is also getting married soon. Do this for you and let the new healthy habits become a part of who you are so they stick around long after your wedding day.
3. Put down the Skinny Latte and magazine, get off the elliptical and lift some heavy shit. Not sure where to begin when it comes to an exercise program? Start with these five workouts in my free workout booklet.
4. Please, please don’t starve yourself. Instead of removing foods from your diet, add healthy ones in. Have two servings of veggies with lunch and dinner and make sure each meal has a protein in it. This way you can still eat some of the delicious foods you love while adding in extra nutrients, all without feeling deprived.
We all want to look good as we’re up at the altar saying our vows, I get it. But the idea of getting in shape just for the “I do” doesn’t sit well with me. Yes, doing intense workouts and staying on top of my nutrition is something I’ve been thinking about a bit more than usual since I said yes, and that isn’t a bad thing. But forget doing it for the big day.
I lift heavy and eat well because I want to be a bit more badass. There, doesn’t that sound better?